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Koro … bagged and labelled.
He comes on time, at 4 pm as agreed, gives me a hug and holds me for a long time in his arms. Then he lifts me up in the air playfully. Is he happy to see me? Did he miss me? Seems like it but you never know. I offer him something to drink but he’s not thirsty. I notice that his hair has grown since the last time I saw him. I liked it shorter. It is strange because Koro doesn’t seem to turn me on as much as he used to. Still there is some flame but it’s only 30% of what I felt just few weeks ago.
It’s almost midnight again and nothing form Koro/ few days ago I was so crazy about him and now I even think I’m more on Carl the Piglet side!
No ranking tonight.
I’m sick of them all!
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Koro comes back and sees something is wrong with me. I explain the misunderstanding with the phone number. He tells me not to worry about it. Apparently when he disappeared he followed the guy to the bar next door and either took his sim card from him or told him to delete my number from his phone book.
It is getting better between us but the girl keep saying I behave like an angry, precious princess.
I‘m driving in heavy rain. My phone vibrates: it’s Koro.
“How are you? Beautiful weather isn’t it!
And now the most important part of the txt message!
“I miss you”
OMG! This is as unexpected as it is nice! I drive off the motorway to read it again without causing a car crash
I reply:
“I was just thinking about you”… (I’m trying to be nice)… „I’m driving now and it pisses down with rain! I can’t see anything! I’m happy you miss me coz I miss you too.”
I’m sad we are leaving. Last swim in the ocean and we start our 6hrs trip back to city.
“Steph did I gain weight within the last few days?” I feel like I’m getting obsessed again. Obsessed that maybe I’m too fat and getting fatter with every single thing I eat.
“You are skin and bones Bezuna! Don’t you have better things to think about?” says Steph.
„I guess I don’t…”
Always, simply always there is something I have to get obsessed about. If not about men then about my body. It’s like my brain needs to keep busy by going over and over again some shit, some depressive thoughts, analyzing. And as soon as I run out of one obsession another one begins!
“Have you got your own portable toilet?” – This question as well as the very visit form the department of conservation official is totally unexpected.
“No we don’t have our own toilet. There is the long drop…” says Pete, but the investigation continues.
“So have you got the certificate form the local city council stating that you can use the long drop? If not, then you can’t use it…” says the official.
“Can we buy it from you? Asks Gareth and the answer is “no”.
”So what are we supposed to do with our…” asks surprised Dave (he is so pretty when he’s surprised!)
My homeopath said “drink warm water with natural sea salt. The more you can drink the better. Put your legs into hot water with apple cider vinegar or salt and you will be fine in few days. And no antibiotics!”
This sounds too good and too simple to be working but I’m determined to give it a go. If it doesn’t work fast I will soon start pissing with blood!
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I am originally from Czech. I am 26 and very single now. I created this diary to get some relief. I hope spelling it all out will help me go through it.